lentils
This past week I cooked some lentils.
It was my one week of summer vacation, and I was in the dregs of a cold, attempting to whip up something to give my body much-needed nourishment.
I stood at the pot mixing, watching the orange pieces dance around my big wooden spoon, occasionally scraping some stuck legumes off the bottom. The sunlight was haphazardly making its way through the thick clouds, in through the windows. It made the small room feel cozy, emphasizing the slight glow of the burner. The old electric stove made faint groans, and the smell of the umami mushroom powder I’d generously sprinkled in was making my tummy rumble. Water bubbled with a low murmur, turning into soft steam. Feeling the heat in the already slightly-too-warm kitchen made my face sweat slightly and my exhausted limbs even more heavy.
I was relaxed.
That isn’t normal for me.
This past week was my one week of summer vacation, and I spent the first half of it doing things I “should” do. I should catch up on my email. I should clean my room. I should call my mom.
I felt a desire to “make use” of my time off, but I wasn’t really sure what a break was supposed to consist of. I pushed myself to be productive, and ended up feeling antsy and irritable. It wasn’t until I got sick and was forced to slow down that I realized that I really needed to learn how to relax.
I spent the rest of the week reading, cooking, going for walks with friends, visiting libraries and bookstores, and sleeping. For the first time in a long time, my endless list of “should”s wasn’t on my mind. There are infinite things I “should” be doing – I could always be doing more. I will never be able to do all of them. One of my favorite writers says that we should be ok with things as they are right now, and this week I think I internalized that message a little bit more. Relaxing is important. It’s important to be able to live in the present and not worry about making every moment productive. We’re humans, not machines.
I encourage you to make some lentils too.